[governance] Fwd: [civic] Google Wants To Buy Trinidad and Tobago for $30billionUSD - a joke, but is it really?

[Deirdre Williams]

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Yacine Khelladi <yacine at yacine.net>
Date: 25 May 2015 at 13:08
Subject: [civic] Google Wants To Buy Trinidad and Tobago for $30billionUSD
To: "Caribbean ICT stakeholders Virtual Community (CIVIC)" <
civic at dgroups.org>


 May 12, 2015   International   151 Comments
Google Wants To Buy Trinidad and Tobago for $30billionUSD
http://lateoclocknews.com/google-wants-to-buy-trinidad-and-tobago-for-30billionusd/

After Moody’s Investor Service downgraded Trinidad and Tobago’s rating,
Google has been disappointed in Trinidad and Tobago, a nation it has gotten
involved with due to a 2013 email scandal. Google sees TnT as country with
great potential that is being wasted. Google is considering buying the twin
island republic for about $30bUSD to run its affairs more efficiently and
reap the benefits for themselves.

Google CEO, Larry Page, said the company is disappointed most of all by
Trinidad and Tobago’s lack of initiative. “It’s crazy. Thecountry has so
much oil, so many engineering and computer science graduates, so much
international cultural capital, yet they have invented nothing to help with
their traffic problem, they still use typewriters in licensing offices, and
they don’t mass produce steelpans even though the entire world LOVES that
fucking thing! I heard some people even still use Blackberry phones. It
would be an injustice for us to sit back and let this laziness persist.”

Page continued. “For those who know their history, there was a time the US
considered annexing the entire Caribbean to itself, but it thought betterof
it because we didn’t want to give you all full citizenship to migrate to
our shores. We clearly made the wrong decision because you all still flood
our nation in droves anyway. Since colonialism is no longer morally
acceptable, we will go the good old capitalist route and just buy you out
on behalf of our great nation.”

Google does not think running the nation would be much of a hassle even
though it would be their highest grossing acquisition to date. “We bought
Motorolla for $12.5bUSD, I think getting TnT – an entire country – for
$30bUSD is a sweet deal. Running the country may be a challenge but nothing
our interns can’t handle. If for some reason TnT doesn’t bring the profits
we thinkit should, we’ll just sell it to Samsung or Iceland or maybe even
Massy Group, since they’ve been trying to take over the country for years.
However, we don’t expect to have to sell, as we believe Trinidad & Tobago
could be a real moneymaker if properly managed.”

According to Page, most of his information about the financial potential of
Trinidad and Tobago came to them from Jack Warner.

Disclaimer

The Late O’clock News is a news and political satire web publication, which
may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious
ways. All news articles contained within thelateoclocknews.com are fiction,
and presumably fake news.

Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all
references to politicians and/or celebrities, in which case they are based
on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction.



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-- 
“The fundamental cure for poverty is not money but knowledge" Sir William
Arthur Lewis, Nobel Prize Economics, 1979
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