[governance] RE: [bestbits] Re: Delivery of International civil society letter to Congress to follow up from HRC statement

[michael gurstein]

Significant typo at end of last sentence on paragraph 4 "fatally impacts
consumer's trust on all American (.) that provide worldwide services." (word
missing--likely "companies"

 

Otherwise great job everyone.  Sorry that I wasn't around to edit at the
end. family stuff kept me off the Internet all day. but whoever did it did a
great job.

 

M

 

From: webwewant at googlegroups.com [mailto:webwewant at googlegroups.com] On
Behalf Of Jeremy Malcolm
Sent: Thursday, June 13, 2013 7:58 PM
To: Kevin Bankston
Cc: bestbits at lists.bestbits.net bestbits at lists.bestbits.net>
irp at lists.internetrightsandprinciples.org; governance at lists.igcaucus.org;
webwewant at googlegroups.com
Subject: Re: [bestbits] Re: Delivery of International civil society letter
to Congress to follow up from HRC statement

 

On 14/06/2013, at 7:48 AM, Kevin Bankston <kbankston at cdt.org> wrote:





A few typos:

 

Paragraph 4 includes the sentence "That was clearly not the case with the
latest practices of the US Government (this is inconsistent with references
to "allegations" above)"  I assume we want to cut the parenthetical.  To
address the comment in the parenthetical, perhaps change "clearly" to
"apparently"?

 

Paragraph 5: "detailed" is misspelled "detailsed"

 

Paragraph 6 begins and ends with quotation marks that need to be deleted.
The phrase "which constitute an almost certainly human rights violations"
should be "which constitutes an almost certain human rights violation".  

 

Fixed, and I also linked between this letter and the last one to the UN
Human Rights Council.

 

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Dr Jeremy Malcolm
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Consumers International | the global campaigning voice for consumers
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