Leaned on by Lee to put my money where my mouth is :-) I offer this revision for consideration. I have taken Jeremy's original that Parminder commented on at the beginning of this thread, and added my suggestions, paragraph by paragraph, in blue. Most of the words are really Jeremy's.<div>
I have done nothing to the 2 ECOSOC paragraphs which still seem to be under discussion.</div><div>I have tried to make phrases enclosed in inverted commas refer verbatim to the Tunis Agenda with the paragraph reference.</div>
<div>I am concerned about the inclusion of the word "equal" - see the part in red. I cannot find the word in the Tunis Agenda (in the context where we use it), and it is very loaded language. We certainly should NOT make it appear to be a quotation if it does not appear in the original.<br>
Deirdre</div><div><br><div class="gmail_quote">On 17 February 2010 17:45, Lee W McKnight <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:lmcknigh@syr.edu">lmcknigh@syr.edu</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex;">
I further agree with Deirdre and Yrjo.<br>
<br>
And I am happy Deirdre volunteered to do a quick revision of the doc for readability, clarity & conciseness : )<br>
<br>
<br>
________________________________________<br>
From: Deirdre Williams [<a href="mailto:williams.deirdre@gmail.com">williams.deirdre@gmail.com</a>]<br>
Sent: Wednesday, February 17, 2010 10:03 AM<br>
To: <a href="mailto:governance@lists.cpsr.org">governance@lists.cpsr.org</a>; Yrjö Länsipuro<br>
<div class="im">Subject: Re: [governance] REVISION 2 Draft statement to UNSG on bypassing<br>
<br>
</div><div class="im">I agree with Yrjö's point.<br>
I also wonder about the writing style of the statement. I know long sentences are the norm for bureaucratic documents :-), but short simple sentences communicate much more efficiently, particularly when one is communicating across languages?<br>
Deirdre<br>
<br>
</div><div class="im">On 17 February 2010 10:06, Yrjö Länsipuro <<a href="mailto:yrjo_lansipuro@hotmail.com">yrjo_lansipuro@hotmail.com</a><mailto:<a href="mailto:yrjo_lansipuro@hotmail.com">yrjo_lansipuro@hotmail.com</a>>> wrote:<br>
Yes, I think Parminder has a valid point here. Our strongest argument is the procedural one. Review and assessment of WSIS outcomes have *always* gone through CSTD, why not now? Standing on the precedent is an age-old bureaucratic device, and we might use it here yto our advantage. We could also point out that special provisions have been made at CSTD to accomodate other stakeholders as per WSIS principles, but we should not get in the argument about the ECOSOC.<br>
<br>
Yrjö<br>
<br>
________________________________<br>
</div>From: <a href="mailto:william.drake@graduateinstitute.ch">william.drake@graduateinstitute.ch</a><mailto:<a href="mailto:william.drake@graduateinstitute.ch">william.drake@graduateinstitute.ch</a>><br>
<div class="im">Date: Wed, 17 Feb 2010 13:23:44 +0100<br>
</div>CC: <a href="mailto:jeremy@ciroap.org">jeremy@ciroap.org</a><mailto:<a href="mailto:jeremy@ciroap.org">jeremy@ciroap.org</a>><br>
To: <a href="mailto:governance@lists.cpsr.org">governance@lists.cpsr.org</a><mailto:<a href="mailto:governance@lists.cpsr.org">governance@lists.cpsr.org</a>>; <a href="mailto:parminder@itforchange.net">parminder@itforchange.net</a><mailto:<a href="mailto:parminder@itforchange.net">parminder@itforchange.net</a>><br>
<div class="im">Subject: Re: [governance] REVISION 2 Draft statement to UNSG on bypassing<br>
<br>
<br>
Hi<br>
<br>
On Feb 17, 2010, at 1:08 PM, Parminder wrote:<br>
<br>
[snip]<br>
<br>
We can add that the CSTD forum gives a relatively greater multistakeholder (MS) involvement.<br>
<br>
However I wont harp too much on this point, in this representation. I am really not sure how much more MS is CSTD than other UN forums in Geneva/ New York. Does someone has full information on this? I do know that a temporary window was created to involve all WSIS accredited organizations (when does this end) but perhaps not much more. Even at CSTD CS is present only as an observer and speaks only in allocated slots, in the end. We are also not formally involved in drafting processes, though informal practices may operate (sometimes). So while we may make this point, I dont think we should push it too much.<br>
<br>
I agree, we can't call CSTD a MS institution, it's an intergovernmental that has made special provisions to allow some CS involved in one area of activity some scope for involvement that exceeds what is possible in ECOSOC.<br>
<br>
BD<br>
<br>
Jeremy Malcolm wrote:<br>
<br>
In contrast to the CSTD, ECOSOC itself is not a multi-stakeholder institution. Whilst ECOSOC has accredited NGOs, their influence is limited and much of their expertise is not taken into consideration by ECOSOC. More importantly, there are many NGOs that were accredited at WSIS but which are not in consultative status with ECOSOC, and the private sector has no representation within ECOSOC at all. This makes it impossible to regard ECOSOC as a truly multi-stakeholder institution.<br>
<br>
<br>
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